Padangekspres.net-If you’ve ever had trouble
sleeping, chances are someone has told you to move your television,
laptop, or work out of the bedroom. One’s bed, it’s been said, should be
reserved for two things: sleep and sex. But what happens when it
doesn’t get much of either?
Sarah Jessica Parkers new movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It,
broaches this question—one I’m often asked about, as a sex researcher
and educator at Indiana University. Almost every trailer for the movie
features a scene in which Kate (Parker) and her husband, Richard (Greg
Kinnear), flirtatiously hint about having sex. Kate has returned home
from a work trip and, while clearly exhausted, insists she’s not too
tired—except, moments later, she’s passed out in their bed. Indeed, the
sleep-over-sex scene is familiar to movies (there’s a similar one in
last summer’s Hall Pass,
except the wife fakes sleep to avoid sex), and to many of our personal
lives. Who isn’t juggling some combination of kids, pets, work, school,
friends, and social obligations?
Still, not everyone realizes just how big a role sleep plays in maintaining our sex drive and performance. According to a 2005 national poll,
as many as one third of married or cohabitating adults felt that their
romantic relationships were adversely impacted by their own or their
partner’s sleep problems—such as insomnia or snoring—or sleepiness. New
mothers with low sexual interest reported in at least one recent study
that a key cause was being tired (the vast majority woke up at least
once per night to take care of their baby). And in other research, people with sleep apnea were found to have more difficulties with sexual function.
The good news? If you get more sleep, you can rev up your sex drive. In a 2011 study,
for example, when patients with chronic sinus problems were treated,
both their sleep and sex lives improved. If you’re low on sexual desire,
before begging your doctor for hormone testing or a prescription, ask yourself if you’ve been sleeping through the night—and consider these five findings:
1. We can stash sleep away.
A game-changing study published in a 2009 issue of Sleep found that we can effectively save up our sleep. In the study, individuals who “banked” their sleep ahead of time by sleeping a little extra each night experienced fewer of the negative side effects of sleep deprivation during a week in which their sleep was severely restricted. Imagine how this might transfer to any area of our lives, including our sex lives. If you know you’re up against a tough week ahead (international flights, 12- or 14-hour work days), try to sleep longer on the nights leading up to the ones in which you’ll be struggling to get your full seven or eight hours of sleep. Your libido will thank you.
A game-changing study published in a 2009 issue of Sleep found that we can effectively save up our sleep. In the study, individuals who “banked” their sleep ahead of time by sleeping a little extra each night experienced fewer of the negative side effects of sleep deprivation during a week in which their sleep was severely restricted. Imagine how this might transfer to any area of our lives, including our sex lives. If you know you’re up against a tough week ahead (international flights, 12- or 14-hour work days), try to sleep longer on the nights leading up to the ones in which you’ll be struggling to get your full seven or eight hours of sleep. Your libido will thank you.
2. Laptops may be to blame.
According to a recent survey by the National Sleep Foundation, about two thirds of Americans report using their laptops or computers a few nights per week in the hour before bed—which is ill-advised, as the artificial light can suppress melatonin, a hormone linked to sleep. In the hour before going to sleep, try to wind down without the television or a laptop.
According to a recent survey by the National Sleep Foundation, about two thirds of Americans report using their laptops or computers a few nights per week in the hour before bed—which is ill-advised, as the artificial light can suppress melatonin, a hormone linked to sleep. In the hour before going to sleep, try to wind down without the television or a laptop.
3. Pets can be the problem.
That’s right: your pets. In one study, researchers found that a sizable number of patients at a sleep-disorder clinic were letting a pet sleep in their bed. And in my own research, a number of cat and dog owners reported being woken up at least once per night by their pet. Try to train your pet to sleep in a crate (dogs) or another room (cats). Not only will that make time for you to sleep soundly, but it will also make more room in the bed for you and your partner to have sex without worrying about a dog’s awkward stares or a cat batting its paws at you.
That’s right: your pets. In one study, researchers found that a sizable number of patients at a sleep-disorder clinic were letting a pet sleep in their bed. And in my own research, a number of cat and dog owners reported being woken up at least once per night by their pet. Try to train your pet to sleep in a crate (dogs) or another room (cats). Not only will that make time for you to sleep soundly, but it will also make more room in the bed for you and your partner to have sex without worrying about a dog’s awkward stares or a cat batting its paws at you.
4. Women are hit harder than men.
Given that a woman’s sexual desire tends to be more closely tied to her emotions than a man’s—and that sleep helps us better regulate our emotions—it’s perhaps no surprise that lack of sleep can affect women more than men as well. Some research found that even among exhausted new parents, men tend to get less sleep than women do—and yet, new dads often have greater sexual desire than new moms, according to other studies. So, guys: no use comparing your sleep schedule to your girlfriend’s or wife’s when trying to persuade her to have sex. You’re probably not going to win.
Given that a woman’s sexual desire tends to be more closely tied to her emotions than a man’s—and that sleep helps us better regulate our emotions—it’s perhaps no surprise that lack of sleep can affect women more than men as well. Some research found that even among exhausted new parents, men tend to get less sleep than women do—and yet, new dads often have greater sexual desire than new moms, according to other studies. So, guys: no use comparing your sleep schedule to your girlfriend’s or wife’s when trying to persuade her to have sex. You’re probably not going to win.
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